Editorial Report

1. The content between my two selections from my rough cut and my revisions bear identical similarities, but the form and style between the two is what differentiates. I believe my content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited selections because the notorious verbosity of my usual writing is cut to a minimum where the information is being succinctly communicated but the sophistication of the piece is still in tact.

2. The form changed in that rather than having a plethora of verbose, elongated compound-complex sentences and an absence of punctuation, the final project will be more clear and less overboard in its delivery. This is new ground for me in my writing career so we will see how it pans out both in terms of grading and the process work..


a.
Selection from Rough Cut: First Body Paragraph

Qatar's controversial hosting of the 2022 World Cup sparked a long-ignored flame that is corruption among the higher-ups in FIFA and global juggernauts alike across the globe. The world could not deny the glaring mark of bribery on the 2022 World Cup. First alleged in May of 2011, FIFA and then Vice President Jack Warner internally investigated Mohammed bin Hammam’s, President of the Asian Football Confederation, role as Qatar’s proxy to ‘buy’ the World Cup bid via payment to executive officials sitting on the selection committee. It was then ironically discovered FIFA’s very own VP, Warner, was compensated with $2,000,000 in return for Qatar’s success in obtaining the World Cup bid. 

Re-edited Selection

The controversy regarding Qatar’s role as host of the 2022 FIFA World Cup ignited instantly following FIFA Sepp Blatter’s announcement on December 2^nd, 2010. This newest tremor in the world of soccer sparked a long-ignored flame that is corruption among the higher-ups in FIFA and global juggernauts alike across the globe. The Qatari bid at first glance seemed innocent and groundbreaking for the sport, but as the veil lifted, the spiders hidden in the selection committee’s closet came spiraling out. Qatar officials spun the troubling allegations as actions of envy and malice conducted by jealous, competing countries; but, the world could not deny the glaring mark of bribery on the 2022 World Cup. First alleged in May of 2011, FIFA and then Vice President Jack Warner internally investigated Mohammed bin Hammam’s, President of the Asian Football Confederation, role as Qatar’s proxy to ‘buy’ the World Cup bid via payment to executive officials sitting on the selection committee. It was then ironically discovered FIFA’s very own VP, Warner, was compensated with $2,000,000 in return for Qatar’s success in obtaining the World Cup bid. Additionally, it was discovered that the previously mentioned bin Hammam had allocated nearly $5,000,000 to Football officials to vote for Qatar during the selection process (Wright). Soccer, a global sweetheart, had just gone behind the back of billions.

b.
Selection from Rough Cut: Conclusion

Is it illegal? Is it discriminatory? No, but it is time to act. The overwhelming number of troubling and outrageous controversies is not something to be considered a norm of for a world-renowned organization such as FIFA.  The 2022 Qatar World Cup’s overwhelmingly corrupt nature and obvious detriment in face of its small reward has yielded nothing but scrutiny from millions and malice by many, the call for action is here, and the time is now.

Re-edited Selection

Those who object the notoriously controversial nature of the 2022 Qatar World Cup claim the illegality of stripping a country of its hosting rights and the discriminating-bias of the media towards Middle Eastern countries and its people (Davis). The false claims of an absence of legal grounds and the fallacy in associating a Qatar World Cup with the progressive society in our world is what is fallaciously dignifying the Qatari bid for the 2022 World Cup. The overwhelming number of troubling and outrageous controversies is not something to be considered a norm of for a world-renowned organization such as FIFA. The accumulation of economic, sociocultural, and geopolitical detriment should be an alarming sign for those responsible to strip Qatar of its bid. The 2022 Qatar World Cup’s overwhelmingly corrupt nature and obvious detriment in face of its miniscule reward has yielded nothing but scrutiny from millions and malice by many, the call for action is here, and the time is now.