1. What I discovered is actually my ineptitude in utilizing pronouns. I see that I rather use euphemisms, substitutions, or basically anything that does the same thing as a pronoun but is not actually a pronoun. I believe this is a part of my verbose writing style and also adds more flow and transitory elements to the structure of my piece.
2. I did not find any particular instances in which I speak or refer directly to the audience but I believe I should be doing more of that. Personalizing the story will not only engage the reader but magnify the significance of this controversy and perhaps provide this in a light each respective reader can equate to. Particularly in the section where I discuss the dissatisfaction and fear parents possess in their children playing football considering the degenerative brain consequences of participating, I believe in a section like this audience rhetoric would drive home the matter.
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